Couple embarks on caregiving role reversal as new cancer battle begins in their young marriage

Cliff and Sha Fields

Written by Walter Pritchard
Soaring HIgh Media Group

Seven years ago, Cliff Fields was there for his wife, Sha, during her battle with stage three breast cancer, managing the household and helping her keep the faith as she bounced back from chemotherapy treatments, a double mastectomy and bouts with depression.

Next month, in March, Cliff will have prostate cancer surgery and it will be Sha’s turn to be there for her husband during his recovery period and what it will entail.

The Fields, who will celebrate their fifth wedding anniversary later this year, are redefining the meaning of caregiving – a love for each that is wrapped in a deep rooted faith in God and life-giving personal sacrifice – for better or for worse.

 “God and Cliff never left my side,” Sha said. “I know the challenges he’ll face and I’ll be there for him like he was there for me.”

Cliff, 48, is scheduled for prostate cancer surgery on March 20. He was diagnosed in December 2012 following a biopsy after experiencing pain and discomfort in his body.

Knowing what his wife went through has hit home with Cliff as to what they may encounter on the road ahead. “I said, ‘Oh man, I’ve got to go through this?’ ” he said.

Sha, 42, has already started taking care of her husband. She makes sure he exercises, eats properly and most importantly, that they pray together. “It means a lot that she has my back,” Cliff said.

It was Sha that opened the door for her husband to take a prostate cancer test. She is a member of a local breast cancer support group The Breakfast Cub that received an invitation to attend the September 2012 Blue Tie Gala sponsored by The Empowerment Network, a nonprofit, prostate cancer advocacy organization. The two went to the event, where Cliff met the organization’s founder and CEO, Mellve Shahid Sr., took a prostate blood test, which was positive and forced the Fields to start thinking about what to do next.

Sha urged her husband to contact The Empowerment Network, which he did and they attended the organization’s support group meeting this past January.

 “I was impressed with all the men sharing their stories about how they are dealing with prostate cancer,” Cliff said. “They had a lot of information. The ‘brothers’ there told me what to expect after surgery and that they will be there for me. They let me know that I won’t be by myself through this.”

The Fields’ journey together started after a death, the breast cancer diagnoses and a free wedding.

Sha’s first husband of only eight months, Jed Gause, died of lung cancer in 2003. Then, in November 2006, at age 35, she was diagnosed with breast cancer. Sha finished radiation treatments in 2007 followed by a radical double mastectomy. In early 2008, she underwent breast reconstructive surgery. And it was during this time that Cliff managed every aspect of the house -  taking care of her children, cleaned the house, cooked meals, helped her when she needed it and constantly lifted her spirit.

“Cliff was there to encourage me,” she said, adding that she experienced extremely low times in her life during this time. “On my lowest day, he proposed to me and I said yes.”

  In the midst of her cancer treatment, Cliff proposed to her and she accepted; the two were married on Aug. 09, 2008.

And during all this, she received a degree in business management from the University of Phoenix. Since then, she has earned two Master’s degrees in public administration and human resource management. She currently works as a coordinator with the Special Administrative Board for the Riverview Gardens School District.

Right after their engagement, Sha won a contest sponsored by radio station FOXY-FM 95.5. The prize was a free wedding. Contestants had to write an essay explaining why they should win. Her writing impressed radio personalities at the station out of 460 entries.

 As a breast cancer survivor, Sha knows that they’ll need each other now more than ever as they embark on a new journey.

 “My breast cancer journey prepared me mentally for the challenges that my husband now faces,” Sha said. Cliff added: “She ensures that I do what I’m supposed to do. She’s very supportive already. That’s the reason I love my wife so much.”

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The Empowerment Network (TEN) participates in more than 60 events annually to promote early detection of prostate cancer in vulnerable, high-risk metropolitan males, age 35+.  Founded by prostate cancer survivor, Mellve Shahid Sr., six years ago, more than 200 prostate cancer survivors have joined TEN, which is housed in its own Cancer Center at 6000 West Florissant Avenue, St. Louis, MO 63136. For more information TEN, call 314.385.0998 or visit www.TheEmpowermentNetwork.net.